Alexander the Great. Charlemagne, Catherine the Great. Wayne Gretsky, The Great One. Muhammad Ali, The Greatest. Donald is Great too. Just ask him.
And Donald is smart. Very smart. He makes the best deals. Great deals. Believe him. Great, really great.
Donald has a secret to being great. Know how, if there was no law of gravity, we could all fly? Yeah, laws suck. They just tie you down. Principles, rules, customs, they don’t apply to the great ones. If you’re great, you can do anything.
Let’s say you want to make money. Here’s a great idea. You hire a bunch of contractors to build a tower, furnish it. finish it real nice. Then – get this – you don’t pay them! Ha. They were privileged to work on a Trump Tower. Why should they be paid? Then, this is good – if they sue you, you settle for 20 cents on the dollar. Hey, that’s more money than they will get when the lawyers tie them up in court for years – they were overcharging anyway. Or here, this one’s even better. You start a company – let’s say you are going to run a casino. Everyone pays in, you get your money out and then, listen for it, you declare bankruptcy. They get pennies – mere pennies! on the dollar back. Maybe nothing at all! It’s worked for Donald six times.
Or, another idea, works great. You know how criminals end up with ill-gotten gain? From dealing drugs, or prostitution, or maybe they embezzle a few billion from Azerbaijan. Hot money, hard to explain. If you have real estate or casinos, you just partner up with them – sell them a condo or let them run the money through a night of gambling – you skim some off the top, and bling, it’s all legit. Great scheme huh?
If you want to be great, you need great friends too. Friends who know how the world works, how to make a deal. Like Vlad Putin. Or Recep Erdogan. Let’s say you’re running for President. If you’re Great, you are going to win, you have to win, that’s what you do if you’re great. But then they have these rules, you need people to vote for you. Now that’s tough, like that gravity thing, trying to pull you down to earth. And sure, you tell people what they want to hear – make America Great – lock her up – build a wall – but that doesn’t work for everyone. That’s why you have friends like Vlad. Someone who can hack voting machines – spread disinformation. You’d be amazed what you can do. If you’re Great that is.